One of the most difficult things for a fat dude to hear, especially when dating, is that they have a great personality but no other redeeming physical characteristics. When you remind us how "unhealthy" we are, all you're doing is reducing us to our weight and that doesn't feel good. If I haven't suggested I might like to go for a 10-mile hike, telling me how much I'd enjoy it every time I see you is a mistake (and also makes me thing you want to get me alone so you can murder me in the wilderness).7.
I appreciate that, especially if it's just a nice compliment that doesn't come with a "but" after. If I'm all "let's go running," you should absolutely come if you want to.
Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.
Plus, some of us have difficult relationships with food. I don't know about you, but I can put two tablespoons of dressing on a piece of lettuce at home. Friend, if I'm not telling you that you'd look cuter if you cut your hair, plucked your eyebrows, or took off that hideous velour track suit, you don't need to tell me how cute I'll look once I weigh 150 pounds and can fit into skinny jeans. "At least no one cares how guys look." Except I care! Unfortunately, not all of us will get there and that's OK.
If a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man, the general assumption is that this fat man has to have money, or some sort of power otherwise.
Why else would someone who could presumably get with anyone they wanted choose to be with a disgusting fat man, right?
I'm glad more people are recognizing that being fat isn't a problem of being lazy and eating Cheetos off your chest all day, but it's also not always a medical condition. But if dudes continue to be dismissed when they try to talk about body issues, it's just going to make us care more, not less. "I like/love you even though you're fat." This is something that many dudes I know have explicitly heard.
It goes back to the idea that if you're dating someone fat that their body size is the first barrier to attraction as opposed to just another body type.